


Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...

by casualheda



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Canon Universe, F/F, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2019-04-29 03:50:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14464383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casualheda/pseuds/casualheda
Summary: As she walks through the wasteland, Clarke sees someone she didn't expect.





	Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...

She had been walking for days now. Without the rover it was hard to cover a lot of ground each day. Not a sign of anything or anyone that would have survived Praimfaya. No animal running around on this ravaged earth, no bird flying in the toxic sky, no fish swimming in the poisoned waters. Everywhere she went she only found bodies. The smell was horrendous and she emptied the contents of her stomach more than once as she tried to burn the corpses covering the streets of Polis before giving up. There were so many... Women, men, children, old, young, the radiation had spared no one. Earth was dead and she was all alone. Surviving was all she had now.

Clarke had run out of water two days ago, walking under a burning sky, the dehydration was hitting her hard. Hidden by a large hood, Clarke's face was still bearing the scars of radiation burns. Her lips that were only a bit dry the day before were now as dry as this desert; burned by the sun, they were cracked in a few spots, blood flowing between the cracks and drying quickly under the heat. The more she walked, the more tired and weak she felt. She had thought of stopping to take a break but there was nowhere she could hide from the sun so she kept going, trying to held on tighter on her walking stick, her last physical memory of Lexa.

When she found the Commander's throne under the ruins of Polis's tower, her heart had skipped a bit. She remembered the first time she saw it, the same day she met Lexa. The Commander was sitting on her throne, intimidating and beautiful. This moment had been the beginning of their partnership, friendship then later on, their love. Because of this memory, Clarke had grabbed onto that piece of wood and dragged it out of the debris before everything collapsed on the rest of it.

The stick had proven very useful during Clarke's tiring journey in this infinite wasteland but it didn't help when she slipped down a dune, her body rolling down in the sand, weaker than she had ever felt. She collapsed on the ground, head first. Clarke didn't want to get up, she was exhausted. She wanted to quit, let death have its Wanheda if it wanted to. She had given so much and the world only took everything away from her. What was she still fighting for? She didn't know if her mother was still alive in that bunker now blocked by tons of rocks but she didn't believe that she would ever see her again if it was the case. And her friends, up in space, if they even made it...

Clarke closed her eyes, her heart beating rapidly, she was ready for whatever was next. Then she heard it, that voice, far away at first, then so close to her ear.

"Clarke!" the voice called once again and Clarke was now pretty sure that she was dead or maybe her mind playing tricks on her. Because that voice Clarke heard, it was Lexa's.

Clarke opened her eyes reluctantly, her vision was blurry but slowly Lexa's body was taking shape. Clarke blinked a few times, not believing what she was seeing. When she looked again Lexa was still here, standing in front of her, as beautiful as the last time Clarke saw her. Her heart hurt when she realized that she forgot what she looked like exactly. She almost cried, almost... She didn't have any water in her body left to shed any tears.

"How..." the blonde started asking so quietly that she didn't think that the words left her her mouth. Her throat was too dry to speak at a normal volume.

"Does it really matter?" Lexa answered, crouching down next to Clarke.

Her hand brushed against Clarke's cheek so lightly, a soft and ephemeral touch. The feeling of Lexa's skin against her, she had missed it for so long.

"You need to get up Clarke." Lexa said softly but with the energy Clarke had left she shook her head no.

"I can't." her voice cracked, hurting as she tried to speak. "I don't want to." Clarke's entire body was hurting, she was sore from all the walking she did since she lost the rover in the forest. She wasn't sure that her legs could carry her any further. She had no energy, no food, no water, she had nothing, even her will survive was gone.

"Don't you dare give up." Lexa ordonned with a firm tone, refusing to hear any more complain. "Get up." she handed her the piece of wood from her throne.

"What is the point? There's nothing left Lexa! Everyone and everything is dead! I have nowhere to go. I'm alone."

"I'm with you."

"You're not real." Clarke retorted, turning her head away.

"Aren't I? Get up and tell me." Lexa playfully dared Clarke, shaking the stick in front of her so she would take it and stand up.

With all the greatest difficulties, Clarke managed to get in a sitting position and grabbed the stick. As she tried to get up she felt her forearms hurt and her legs cramping behind her. Clarke stood a few painful seconds after, nearly falling back on the ground because of her shaky legs.

"You did it." Lexa smiled in front of her, she was so close, Clarke she could take that step forward and bury her fingers in Lexa's wavy hair. Maybe she could hug her, drown in the intoxicating and comforting smell of her in the crook of her neck and never let go of Lexa again.

She moved towards Lexa, it was hard but as she did, Clarke saw Lexa's smile grow. Maybe she was here after all. Clarke extended her hand slowly, afraid and excited at the same time. Unfortunately as soon as her hand rose up, Lexa turned her back on her and started walking up the dune.

"Come." she encouraged Clarke who started to follow slowly, dizziness seizing her body more and more as she progressed. Long minutes passed but Clarke did it, she stood next to Lexa, clenching on her walking stick like her life was depending on it and it kind of was. She wouldn't be able to stand if it wasn't for it.

Clarke detached her look from Lexa and her eyes reached what Lexa was looking at. Green. Clarke's mouth opened in surprise and awe that a part of Earth had actually survive Praimfaya. Trees, grass, plants, all the shades of green were meeting in this place. Clarke could make out a few birds flying above the trees. All of this meant one thing : there was water somewhere. If her body had been able she would have run toward it.

She gave Lexa a look and finally reached for her hand, aching to finally touch her, her hand wasn't met with her lover's skin but only with air. It was a cruel game that her brain had played on her. All along it had been a ruse and in the end, Clarke had given herself the push she needed to keep going. It was smart, her mind did everything so she would try to survive. Of course she would have listened to Lexa. The dehydration, exhaustion and the heat from the wasteland had been the perfect setting for an hallucination.

"I may not be real but all of this is and it's waiting for you." Lexa gestured the green spot in front of them.

"Why are you doing that to me?!" Clarke yelled, mad at herself for believing that it was really Lexa that was in front of her. It was impossible.

"I told you i would always be with you." The vision of Lexa explained. "I couldn't watch you give up so close to this Clarke. You have a chance, you just have to take it."

"Thank you." Clarke said, to Lexa as much as to herself because in the end Lexa was just a projection of her mind but she didn't care. Nobody was here to see her lose her sanity. Lexa's presence had saved her and it was all that mattered.

Clarke felt a soft sensation on her cheek once again, it was Lexa giving her a soft kiss. Or at least that was what Clarke thought was happening.

"Survive my love." Lexa said and on these words she disappeared like sand in the wind.

"May we meet again." Clarke whispered goodbye, pretty sure that it would not be the last time she sees Lexa. She walked forward, her mind now focused on finding water and live.

 

 _...I will fear no evil, for you are with me._


End file.
